Maybe you've lost your job. Maybe you didn't get the promotion you were hoping for. Maybe your sweetheart broke up with you. People say "Don't take it personally" and "Don't let it get to you," but that's very hard to do.

    也許你失業了，也許你沒有獲得期待中的晉升，也許心上人甩了你。人們說：“別放在心上”、“別讓這事影響你”，但是要做到卻十分難。

    If you're feeling disheartened, what are some strategies for making yourself feel better about yourself? It's pretty clear that repeating "I'm the greatest!" or winning a trophy along with every other second-grade soccer player isn't a good way to build healthy self-esteem.

    如果你這個時侯感到心灰意冷，有沒有什么方法讓自己感覺好一些? 重復“我是最偉大的！”或去和所有其他二流足球選手踢球來全勝，這些都不是建立健康自尊的好方法。

    At the same time, it's a rare person who isn't sometimes – or often – plagued with painful self-doubt. When you're feeling lousy about yourself, what can you do to feel better?

    同樣，人總會時不時或經常地進行痛苦的自我懷疑。當你覺得自己差勁，有什么方法能讓自己感覺好點?

    Here's the secret. To build your self-respect…do something worthy of your respect. To like yourself better…do something that makes you likable. It's tempting to think that support and encouragement from other people will reassure you, but A) often that doesn't work and B) often you can't winkle other people into giving you a pep talk.

    下面是秘密。要建立自尊，就去做值得你尊敬的事情。要更喜歡自己，就去做讓自己更受人喜歡的事情。人們總容易認為，別人的鼓勵和支持能讓自己心里踏實，可是A)這往往不奏效，B)你很難誘使別人給你一段鼓勵的話語。

    Here are some strategies to try:

    去嘗試一下以下的策略:

    1. Do a good deed. This is as selfish as it is selfless; you'll benefit as much as the person you're helping. I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection: she was fired from her job, she didn't get into the graduate program to which she'd applied, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine in the end, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, "I was practically addicted to doing good deeds for other people. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn't a total loser." Along the same lines…

    做件好事。即算無私，也算有私；你給予多少，也會收獲多少。會和被幫助的人獲得一樣多的受益。我有一個朋友遭遇了一系列嚴重失敗：她被解雇了；她申請讀研失敗；她的男友甩了她。可她都挺了過來。我問她是如何渡過這么困難的時期，她說：“我迷上了給別人做好事。這是唯一的方法讓我感到自己不是徹底失敗者。” 同理...

    2. Make small gestures of good citizenship. Bring your old magazines to the gym so other people can read them. Offer directions to someone who looks lost. Sign up to be an organ donor. My current favorite: picking up trash that other people have left on the subway.

    好公民的細微姿態。把你的舊雜志送去健身房，讓別人也能閱讀。給看上去迷路的人指路。報名器官捐獻。現在我最喜歡的：撿起別人在地鐵仍下的垃圾。

    3. Keep a resolution. Not only will you benefit from exercising or cleaning out your garage, you'll also get a boost from the mere fact that you made a commitment and stuck to it.

    遵循決意。鍛煉或打掃車庫讓你受益，而制定并堅持決意，這本身也能提升快樂感。

    4. Become an expert. There's great satisfaction in mastery. Pick a subject that interests you, and dig in deep: the American Revolution, Photoshop, knife techniques. This can be hard, because learning something new can also make you feel frustrated and stupid, but if you push through, you'll give yourself a huge boost. Be sure to pick something that honestly engages you: become an expert on The Sopranos, if that sounds enticing, but don't decide to learn about wine just because you think other people will be impressed. You're much less likely to stick with it, so you won't benefit as much.

    成為專家。成為“大師”有很大滿足感。選擇一個另你感興趣的話題，深入挖掘：美國革命、Photoshop、刀法。這往往很難，因為學習新東西會讓你感覺到沮喪和笨拙，但是如果你努一把力，就會給自己一個巨大的快樂提升。一定要選擇一個真正入迷的東西：如果你喜歡女高音，那么就成為這方面專家，但是不要為了討好別人而學習紅酒。你能堅持的可能性小，給你帶來的好處也少。

    5. Boost your energy. Studies show that when you're feeling energetic, you're much more likely to feel good about yourself. Most important: get enough sleep. If you need an emergency energy fix, take a quick ten-minute walk (outside, if possible, where sunlight will also stimulate your brain), listen to some great music, or talk to a friend.

    養精蓄銳。研究顯示，當你精力充沛時，更可能自我感覺良好。最重要一條：保持足夠睡眠。如果你需要為精力緊急充電，快步走10分鐘（可能的話出去走，陽光會刺激你的頭腦)，聽好聽的音樂，或和朋友聊天。

    6. Challenge yourself physically. This strategy doesn't work for me, but I know that many people feel great after para-sailing, white-water rafting, bungee-jumping, or roller-coaster-riding. For the less daring, a great run, bike ride, or spinning class can do the trick.

    挑戰身體。這個策略對我沒用，但是我知道很多人在進行了帆傘運動、激流劃艇、蹦極過山車后感覺很好。對于膽小一些的，跑步、騎自行車或動感單車課程都行。